Thursday, March 14, 2013

Let's take it from the top.

My name is Justin.....and I am a perfectionist.

     I've wanted to start this blog for some time now. I'm not sure where it will lead, but I suppose I shouldn't be so concerned with outcomes right now and just follow the leading of my heart and gut. For those of you who know me, the opening "confession" of being a perfectionist probably comes as no surprise. However, depending on how well you know me, you may not realize just how deep it goes. If I was to rate my perfectionism on a scale of  1-10, with 1 being "oh shucks I am such a perfectionist, oh well," and 10 being, "I have been dwelling on this 'mistake' for about 3-4 hours," I would say I am an 8.

     As I move into my mid-thirties, I have come to a few realizations. 1) I truly am an "8 level" perfectionist (if not higher). 2) As I have reflected on this over time, I can link this perfectionism as the root of some major things I have struggled with for most of my life (anger, depression, anxiety). 3) I am exhausted and I don't want to live in this place of perfectionism anymore. 4) I look at perfectionism a lot like many people view alcoholism; that this part of you never really goes away, you just learn how to manage it.

     So why am I starting this blog?  A few reasons. First, I hope that it will be therapeutic to get some thoughts out, so this blog will serve as a journal of sorts. Second, maybe you're reading this and you struggle with perfectionism. Perhaps we can help each other on this journey. Lastly, maybe you're reading this and you are close to someone who is a perfectionist (spouse, sibling, friend, etc.). My hope would be that maybe this blog will help you better understand that loved one.

     Before we go on, let me say this......I don't intend to dig really deep into studies here. I may attach articles from time to time that I find interesting or relevant, but mostly this is about the things that I have learned on my journey and hopefully someone will be able to relate to that. There are a few specific topics I will focus on in the coming posts. I'll be touching on perfectionism as it relates to God and His grace as well as my role as a husband and father.

    That's all I have for you tonight.  So I will leave you with an article and a question.  The attached article discusses traits of a perfectionist.  Do you see yourself or someone close?  

http://personalexcellence.co/blog/10-ways-to-tell-if-you-are-a-perfectionist/

Until next time.  May you have peace in your mind.

- J. Woods

3 comments:

  1. How brave, Justin. I know how scary and freeing it can be to "put your truth out there". And I completely relate! I often joke that I'm a hopeless perfectionist. And that I just know if I try a little harder I could get better at not trying so hard to be better.... Oh the hamster wheel! I have been working for a number of years to get off of it. My therapist always says to me, "Do you want to be perfect, or do you want to be graced? Cause you can't be both." Ouch. I will be thinking and praying for your journey. Yay you!

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    1. Thanks KC. Just now seeing this comment. Have not been back since this initial post. :) Ahhh the procrastination of not knowing the perfect post! ha! Thanks for your words and thoughts. God is teaching me a lot about the inner depths of me, and while I don't always like looking there, I also find his grace there (which I'm also generally not a fan of). But alas, the journey goes on for better or for worse. :)

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