If you didn't take time to listen to the song above, I encourage you to do so before you continue. As a side-note, if you're not familiar with Sara Groves music, you should take the time to listen to more of her work. I find her to be an extremely genuine songwriter; a songwriter who communicates to us through her own personal experiences. She speaks as one who has "been there" and if you have also "been there" your heart will undoubtedly respond to her honesty. In the next few paragraphs, I'd like to pull out some treasures from her song "Expedition" and give you a glimpse of how God has spoken to me through this song. His words have been compassionate, encouraging and dare I say wooing. They invite me to go deeper. This invitation is exhilarating and frightening.
Let me pause here and say that the last few years, I have been walking a journey of healing, restoration and rescue with God. It has brought healing to my heart in ways I probably still don't fully understand. This is important context in which to unpack this song. It is from this place of rescue that God offers the invitation I feel He is extending to me through the beauty of this song. Perhaps He has something to say to you as well.
"Did you see the invitation to have nothing to prove, there at the end of striving..."
I could spend a whole year just chewing on this opening line. As one walking on a journey of rescue from anxiety, depression and perfectionism, the idea of having nothing to prove seems foreign. One of the main drivers of those walking this journey is proving. Proving you're good enough, worthy and valuable. At least that has been true for me. I love The Message version of Ephesians 1:4. "Long before He laid down the earth's foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love." Now listen, I get it. My initial reaction is to scream "FOUL! Nope, not me!" But that voice that says you have to prove yourself, it's lying. We are already valuable. God has already settled on us as the focus of His love. You / I can dance around this all we want, but sooner or later, we're going to have to make a choice. There is nothing for us to prove.
"The end of striving." Let that sink in. There can be an end to our striving, our "effort", our constant working to get it right and to finally "arrive." It seems a little dangerous that this would be true. It is entirely too easy to believe nothing will ever change. "It will always be this way" is a lie we must dismantle. There can be an end to our striving. Invitation. Sometimes life feels like it is based on duty, obligations and tasks. There are things we know we should do. There are things we must do in life. Sometimes our motives might be in the right place, but other times, we might just be trying to power through. There's something about an invitation that draws us in. It's relational. It says, "come along with me." It isn't something we must do. It's something we get to do. There's an enormous joy in this. This invitation from God the Father says "Come on. Come with me. Let me show you a different way. You don't have to kill yourself for My love. You have nothing to prove."
"I fashioned us a raft and oar.....we're looking for lost time."
One thing that captures my heart about God is that He is always taking the initiative. He pursues us. In contrast, take an honest look at how the human race generally relates to God. We run, we turn away, we hide. What does He do? He pursues, He chases, He takes the initiative in wooing us back to Him. You read that right....He does indeed woo us to Him. Remember, He "settled on us as the focus of His love." Two things stand out for me in the lyric above. First, "I fashioned". If I haven't made this clear yet, when I listen to this song I imagine God singing these words. This is a song from Him to me. So when it says "I fashioned," that's God, not me. Initiative and pursuit. This was His idea. I didn't come up with it. He provided the means on which we (together) will journey forward. And what is the purpose of our journey? We're looking for lost time. Time that was stolen by disappointments, the brokenness of this world, my own sin and wrong choices. It's one thing to settle all these things and just move on. That's not what God wants to do. He wants to make up that lost time. He wants to redeem it and rescue it and restore that time. What a love. A love that would not only care about my future state, but the entirety of my story.
"To see the invisible goodness of deliberate and slow."
If I have a dream or a plan, the last words I want to hear are "deliberate and slow." My gut reaction to these words is irritation. I want it now. I had the idea, I got the "vision", let's do this thing. Nope...not God's time table. At least it hasn't been for me. If this has been God's time table for you, don't come and talk to me; it's very likely we cannot be friends. In my story, God has been deliberate and slow. This frustrates me daily. God has also been loving, faithful and ever-present in my story. It hasn't always looked the way I had hoped (maybe this is true for you too), but God knows what He's doing. Do I always believe this? Absolutely not. Does it invalidate this truth. Not even a little. It is a truth I must choose to believe or not believe. What also gives me pause in this lyric is that deliberate and slow is an "invisible goodness." This thing that I fight and try to control, this deliberate slowness, it is good. It is a gift from a relentless God that desires goodness for us. Oh that I would fully surrender to this breathtaking truth.
"Reeds on the shoreline nod and sway. They don't toil to be that way."
Our natural state should be rest and trust in God. We are most at peace when we just surrender to the rhythm life was intended to have; reliance on and relationship with the Creator. This is what we were made for. That's worth repeating....this is what we were made for. Same story with the "reeds on the shoreline." They just nod and sway. This is their natural state. They're not striving to be anything else. They're not killing themselves for acceptance and value. They just surrender to the rhythm.
"It will take days and days....it might be extravagant and wasteful. We'll be gone as long as it takes."
This is the lyric that floors me the most. It is so unsettling. It's like it is standing in front of me and I dare not look it in the eye. This journey, this healing, this restoration...it might be extravagant and wasteful. In a world of efficiency and productivity, 12 step programs and formulas, it would be easy to shy away from this. Not even just shy away, but shut the whole thing down. It's hard for us to get our minds around it. But keep in mind, God's ways are not ours. His love for us is extravagant. There are numerous examples of this in scripture and life. You might not see it, you might not want to see it. We are masters of excuses and "reason." We are experts at killing ourselves and wearing tags that say "not enough," "worthless," and "not worth the effort." I cannot convince you. I can't even convince myself. Only the extravagance of our Creator God can do this. Only our loving Father can do this. (I get the word "Father" could trip some people up. I hesitate to use the term. But the truth is, He is a loving Father, even if yours wasn't). Let me invite you to look this thing straight in the eye. Hold its gaze. God's love for you is extravagant. Wasteful? Only in our eyes. Only in eyes addicted to efficiency, productivity and the prudent. But God wastes nothing and His resources are endless. Also, He thinks You are worth the "wastefulness." So how long is this journey? When do we get this thing worked out? "We'll be gone as long as it takes." Again, this floors me. I can be pretty quick to entertain the thought that God is just waiting for me to get myself together; to just hurry up and "get with the program." Often times, I want the same thing. I know I will spend my life forever grateful that God is so patient with me (us). God is not in a hurry. Everything happens within the time-frame that He has intended. Also, this message that we'll be gone as long as it takes, speaks more of His massive love to me. The overall message I hear is "you are worth my time and attention."
Allow yourself to process this for a moment. You, YOU, are worth His time and attention. Is that how you see yourself? Most of the time I would answer no to this question. This is not how I see myself, but I am learning. I am daring to jump into this terrifying and dangerous truth and walk this journey. So what is your journey? Is God inviting you to take an expedition with Him? I am certain He is. If you don't think so, I would dare you to ask Him and listen. It could be a little unnerving, but I would point you to 1 John 4:18. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."
Here's to the journey. Cheers!
-J. Woods
